Early in my ministry call, I had been asked to speak at a church in their regular Sunday morning service. After delivering the message God had laid on my heart that morning, someone from the congregation approached me and said, “You should really be a preacher.” I didn’t know the person at all and I didn’t tell that person, but I had recently begun preparing for my first ordination class.
This comment was a confirmation from God. It was an answer to the prayer I had been praying about the calling I was struggling with. God spoke clearly through a stranger who didn’t know any of my story. Don’t you love how God works?
In 2010, I first sensed the call to ordained ministry, but could not see how it would be possible. At first, I didn’t share my calling with anyone for fear of being found out or of failing. After some conversations with some great mentors, I accepted the call in January 2012 and began my studies in August the same year.
It was a difficult decision for me because God had clearly called me to homeschool our three precious girls, and that hadn’t changed. How could I balance managing a home, homeschooling, leading at church in a few different capacities, and studying for ordination — not to mention all the other hats I wore as a stay-at-home mom and wife? I certainly didn’t know. But, as I learned from a dear mentor of mine, all I had to do was say yes, and God would take care of the rest.
At that point, I felt confident in the call God had placed on my life. I prayed for opportunities to speak and He came through. I prayed for people who didn’t know me or anything about me to speak what God wanted me to know. He did that too.
Preparing for Ordination
A couple years after my official start of studying and preparing for ordained ministry, I found myself questioning what God had previously spoken in a clear and concise manner. The question, “Should I be preparing for ordained ministry?” kept running through my mind, fueled by comments that were negatively made about my choice to pursue the call because I am a woman. I was told that
Paul teaches that women cannot lead men and preaching was leading men.
I had not been around the church my entire life, so I looked up the verses that had been rattled off at me and I began to study what they meant. I knew
The Wesleyan Church (where I was a member, received my call, and was pursuing credentialing) supported women in ministry because I had read
The Discipline of the Wesleyan Church. I also knew that Dr. JoAnne Lyon was the General Superintendent of the church in North America at the time.
I was disheartened and discouraged by these words and the attitude that blurted them out. It wasn’t the first time I had heard it, but this time it was a male pastor in my own denomination behind the words. So I went to the Lord with the question of whether I was hearing Him right and if I was to continue pursuing the call I sensed so deeply within me.
One morning not long after, as I was prayerfully seeking God’s word about whether He was calling me, I was reading my Bible and a particular verse leaped off the page and into my heart. It was a passage from Zechariah.
“Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,” Zechariah 4:6. That word resonated deep in my soul and spoke volumes to me personally, all of which I cannot record here. I kept reading that verse over and over, sensing the peace and presence of the Lord. I prayed and hid that specific word in my heart.
As I continued to pray, there came a deep sense that God had certainly called me and He wanted me to keep track of His words to me. It felt in that moment that I may need to remember and reflect on His words and call on my life in the future. I had heard of a “calling” journal somewhere before (though I’m not absolutely sure where) but being someone who journals, I decided to record this particular encounter.
So I grabbed a journal; a wire bound, small journal in navy blue with polka dots and a red elastic strap to secure it. recorded the date, the Scripture, and what I sensed God speaking to me and about me through those particular words. That was in 2014. Through the years, I have added dates, Scriptures, and the words that I have sensed God speaking to my heart as they relate to my call. I have also recorded when specific people have confirmed a word I have sensed God speaking to me along with the date, to keep a timeline.
Discerning Your Call
Discerning your call is important work. It is work that once completed, may prove to be worth much more than the time you will invest in it. Discerning your call early on will help you when those moments of discouragement come: whether it’s an inner, critical voice speaking discouragement or a voice from outside that speaks negatively. It will help you in the moments of discouragement that come to you personally or are about women clergy in general. It is never too early or too late to discern your call from God.
Every Christian has an important calling on their life. Not everyone will be called to clergy work but if you have been, or if you think you might be being called, take some time to prayerfully seek God and discern the call He has on your life. Walk in the light He has given you until you have more information. Sometimes, it will seem like He has given you one piece to a 5,000 piece puzzle, but being faithful with the piece He has given you will bring more pieces your way. Obedient faith is what God is calling His followers to.
Trusting Him and leaning into His leading is most important. Bit by bit the puzzle will get put together. Piece by piece, you will be able to discern the calling He has on your life. Do not grow weary in the calling He has on your life, but walk in full confidence with your head held high knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt who you are and whose you are.
If you haven’t experienced any negativity, I praise the Lord with you because this has not been the norm - at least in my experience! Something I have had to learn and subsequently remember is that opinions are a dime a dozen and some are not correct, however, one thing is for certain: God calls whomever He chooses. Neither gender, race, social standing, nor experience factor in when God has a call on someone’s life.
Being Confident in Your Call
In the book of Joel, the Lord promises His Spirit to all believers. “And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on
all people. Your sons and
daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions. Even on my servants, both
men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days,” Joel 2:28-29 (emphasis mine).
I know for a fact that there will always be those who will try to discourage anyone who is following God. The higher the level of leadership we are called to, the higher the discouragement can be. I have found that recording those moments and then going back to read them when my level of excitement is low or the discouragement is growing can be so helpful to get me back on track.
It's not what others say, it’s what God has spoken, His calling on your life that matters. That’s what we all need to focus on. The voices of the critics can be loud, but the certain voice of God is the one we should be focused on.
I’m reminded that in Scripture others had ways to remember too. In 1 Samuel 7:12, the Scripture reads, “Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us.'”
The Philistines were coming to attack Israel; but God. He moved in such a way as to cause panic and the enemy was destroyed. Samuel set up the Ebenezer stone as a reminder of what God had done; that God was their Helper. When I get discouraged, I look to my calling journal (my Ebenezer stone) to remind me of God’s words and Truth to me.
Are you feeling discouraged in your calling? Are you unsure of your calling? Are you trying to discern what your calling is? Pray and ask for a word. Pray and ask for confirmation from someone close to you or someone entirely random. Read Scripture prayerfully seeking wisdom and discernment about your call, with an open heart to hear and gracefully receive what He has to say to you.
Record it in a “calling” journal and keep it specifically for that purpose. Even if it’s one passage a year, keep that journal somewhere close so you can come back to it and remember. Remember Who called you. Allow His words to define you, and live out your calling with boldness and courage, emboldened and empowered by the Holy Spirit.
Scripture
(All Scripture taken from NIV):
1 Samuel 7:12
Joel 2:28-29
Zechariah 4:6
