Take a Moment for You
It would be lovely to sit down over a steaming cup of coffee and a plate of tea sandwiches and cookies in my dining room or in a coffee shop to have this conversation with you today. There is something special about sitting across the table from someone and connecting in that way. If you don’t mind I’d like to ask, how are you? I mean, how are you really?
Right now, in this moment, close your eyes and take a deep breath: feel the rising and falling of your breath. Do you notice any tension in your neck and shoulders? Let the rising and falling of each breath melt the tension away.
Take a few moments and breathe, checking in with your body. How’s your head? Your back and belly? Your elbows, arms, hips, knees, legs, ankles, and feet? Allow each breath to blow the tension out and breathe in the breath of life, praying and seeking the Holy Spirit.
How do you feel now? There is something about taking time to breathe and still the craziness of the world. Now, how’s your mind - your thought life, your emotions, all those things that are not part of the physical body? Take time to honestly assess where you are and how you’re doing—even if it takes you a few minutes or more.
You don’t have to be “on” for anyone right here and now. This has been a tough season for everyone—without an end in sight. Most leaders and pastors that I know are in this absolutely crazy place of adding “referee” to their job description in a way that is unprecedented and unknown as to how long it will last.
Lofty Expectations
People are struggling with anger and fear on levels and in numbers that are unheard of and they are taking it out on the church. Sometimes the leader gets the brunt of their wrath, other times it’s other people in the congregation. Either way, we are called to be the peacemakers in the midst of the chaos.
We can take some solace in the fact that people take their frustrations out in places where they feel safe so if you’re dealing with what seem like ridiculous demands or asks, some unreasonable attitudes and cantankerous parishioners, take a moment and breathe a prayer of thanks for the people (even the challenging ones) in your congregation, knowing they feel safe and comfortable coming to you.
In the midst of the busy and crazy times we are living in, are you taking time to sit at the feet of Jesus? Are you taking time to “Be still and know that He is God?” Psalm 46:10
I know, I know…it’s so busy, we are all swamped. Pivoting and changing on the fly has become a daily routine – sometimes even multiple times daily. So many needs and so many expectations. Isn’t it exhausting? Who has the time to simply sit and be still?
Quite honestly, though, how can we continue without taking the time to be still in God’s presence? In this world of have to’s and should’s and all the expectations (both from outside and within), if we can’t (or won’t) pull back long enough to spend time soaking in God’s presence, there will be nothing left within us. If we are not returning to the fountain to be filled, there will be nothing within us to pour out.
Differing Views
Let’s take some time to focus on Mary and Martha. It’s likely you know the story, but join me for a few moments and find some refreshment in a home that showed much hospitality. As we journey through the New Testament we see these two sisters, these two women doing life together. In doing life together, the choices they make and their priorities differ rather dramatically.
Being different from one another can cause some anxiety and friction to flare up from time to time. Let’s break open the Word and peel back the layers to see what Luke records from one particular instance where these two precious women don’t quite see eye to eye:
"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened
her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But
Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked,
“Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,
but few things are needed—or indeed only one.
Mary has chosen what is better,
and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42 NIV emphasis mine)
Martha, Mary, and their brother Lazarus invited Jesus into their home and when Jesus arrived, there was so much Martha still wanted to accomplish. She found herself running around frantically completing her to do list rather than simply spending time with Jesus. Can you relate to Martha? You’ve invited a precious guest over and desperately want to make a good impression—maybe not just a good impression—but a lasting and perfect impression.
Martha is so busy, she has separated herself from everyone else, chained to the kitchen and her “duties” while everyone else sits, listening to and learning from the Master teacher. The frustration must have bubbled up within her: jealousy and hurt. Maybe Martha was frequently left to do the chores while Mary enjoyed relaxing with company.
Martha is the doer, hustling and making things happen. If you have a job to do and it needs to be done well and on time, you contact a Martha type. Now please don’t misunderstand me as we continue on, there is a significant place for Martha and her actions. But, there is also a time for it.
We all have a breaking point that when we perceive injustice—real or imagined—we snap. It can stop us in our tracks and force our hand to seek what we would call “a fair outcome.” Martha was angry that she got stuck to do all the work while Mary got to lay back and enjoy herself.
Poor Martha. Can’t you picture her: wet brow from toiling over the stove, hair disheveled, flour coating her apron, wringing her hands and waving the dish towel around? She went to Jesus seeking some support in her work, some pity or at least a pat on the back. She approached Jesus, believing that He would talk some sense into her sister.
Take a Step Back and Assess
There are times we need to “chill” and do as Mary did: simply sit at the feet of Jesus. Now, before all you type A personalities start making that face and distorting the beauty God gave you, scroll back up the page and reread the boldfaced words that Jesus spoke in Luke 10:42. (Yes, take time right now and do it.)
Many women are programmed to be doers from the time they are young. For many of us, the reality of rest and sitting at the feet of Jesus seems “lazy” or “unproductive”, but it is one of the most productive things we can do for ourselves and for those we lead. Have you ever found yourself so busy doing for God that you forgot to be with God?
Leaders are especially prone to this. Don’t be so quick to say no, but truly take a moment and ask God to search your heart. We sometimes get so busy doing that we forget to be. We must remember that we are human beings, not human doings.
We all need to make resting in the presence of Jesus an important part of our spiritual lives; I mean besides our time of preparation for preaching, teaching, and discipleship. We all spend lots of time doing that; and as women leaders, most of us are great multitaskers and personally I have to sometimes check myself to be sure I’m not short-changing my own spiritual walk, maybe you’re the same.
See, no one is responsible for our spiritual growth except ourselves. If we don’t intentionally take time to grow and rest in Jesus, no one will make us. There is a space within us that lacks when we don’t spend time with Him personally and it will show. In Matthew, Jesus tells us to come away with Him. Drink in the words of these next verses like a cool drink on a summer day:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light,”
(Matthew 11:28-30 NIV).
I know you’ve read this Scripture, you’ve heard it, you’ve even preached it. But do you practice it? You may be getting frustrated with all of this or you may be feeling freedom. I wish I was sitting across that table from you so I could see you: your face, your eyes, your mouth, your posture, your physical reactions.
Are you tensing up or breathing a sigh of relief? Are your shoulders, elbows, neck, and head becoming tense with a bit of pain creeping in or are you soft and loose, breathing in the fresh breath of the Spirit that gives you peace and space to spend time with Him? Ah, I hope it is the latter.
There is such freedom in being released from all the expectations we put on ourselves: notice I said, “ourselves.” It is rare that anyone will expect more of you as a leader than we already expect from ourselves.
Set a New Schedule
Give yourself a break—seriously, find something to laugh at—even if it’s yourself. There’s such healing and joy in laughter. Find something that makes you laugh and let it out. If you need a good cry or a screaming fit, do that as well. Allow the tension and fear, the apprehension and doubts be carried away by the emotions you need to release.
Oh sweet sister, when was the last time you scheduled a rest at the feet of Jesus in your daily routine, or even once a week? How about a 24 hour retreat away from all the cares and responsibilities in your life? It’s a new day—after a very challenging pandemic year, that is continuing on—why not take a day to recalibrate, away from the hustle and bustle of your daily world? Why not schedule it right now? Get it on the calendar and guard it like you would any other important meeting with someone you may never get the opportunity to meet with again if you cancelled?
Why not make it a regular rhythm in your life so you don’t get busy and forget to return to the feet of Jesus regularly? Take out your calendar and schedule in your own personal time with the Lord if you don’t already have it there and guard it selfishly. It is the most important time you will invest in yourself.
We very easily fill our calendars and become busy - too busy. We cannot be effective women leaders and pastors if we will not spend time in the presence of Jesus to be filled and we certainly cannot effectively lead and pastor if there is nothing of Him in us. Won’t you draw near to Him and fill up so you can effectively pour out? What is the first thing you will do right now, to draw near and find rest for your soul?
